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What would you like to change in your life? Be more focused at work? Communicate more effectively? Find work-life balance? Make smarter decisions? Be more patient with your team or family? Have greater self-confidence? Less stress? Just . . . be happier?
Often, the biggest obstacle to change lies in our most deeply ingrained habits: those automatic thought processes that operate outside our consciousness, and yet have a profound impact on our behavior, shaping everything from how we respond to challenges to how we engage with others.
The good news is that we can literally rewire our mental habits for the better. In Habit Changers, executive coach M.J. Ryan shares the secret weapon that has helped her highest performing clients improve their focus, better manage under pressure, enhance their emotional intelligence, become more effective leaders, and more.
Inspired by the Buddhist tradition of Lojong, or "slogan practice," habit changers are simple, one-line aphorisms that, when recited, reprogram your brain’s automatic responses. Here, Ryan explains how to use the 81 Habit Changers that have demonstrated the most profound and lasting results. They include:
§ You can’t say yes if you can’t say no
§ Don’t push buttons that don’t need to be
§ Handshake your fear
§ Stand where you’d rather not
§ Remember your highest intention
§ Outsource your worry
§ Reach for the better thought
Our capacity to change is our greatest gift as human beings. Habit Changers will help you take control of your destiny and more easily achieve the success and happiness you desire.
- Sales Rank: #40026 in Books
- Published on: 2016-09-20
- Released on: 2016-09-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.80" h x .90" w x 5.20" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 256 pages
Review
“If you’re ready to live a fearless, awesome life, Habit Changers will help you take control of your destiny and be the badassiest version of yourself, every day. Ryan's techniques are easy to jump into and they work.” -Jen Sincero, New York Times Bestselling author of You Are a Badass
"This book has had the delightful effect of giving me something insightful within the first 60 seconds of picking it up as well as making me return to it often. Don't let the simplicity of the guide trick you into thinking it's not profound. This is a book with that special simplicity on the other side of complexity that should also be applauded--and read." Greg McKeown, author of the New York Times bestseller, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
“Happiness is a choice, but it requires practice to maintain. MJ Ryan's insightful book serves to remind us how easily we can create a practice of incorporating effective positive thought patterns into our daily life." --Shawn Achor, happiness researcher and NYTimes bestselling author of Before Happiness
“Habit Changers is a game changer. In place of the predictable but worn and ineffective affirmations, MJ Ryan has created a novel new tool in the armamentarium of change tools... Like me, you’ll be inspired to craft your own, practice and finally reap the rewards lasting change will bring” -Pam Peeke MD, MPH, FACP, FACSM , and NY Times bestselling author of Fight Fat after Forty, Body for Life for Women, and The Hunger Fix
"This book is killer--it's a keep by your desk, keep by your bed, career coach, therapist, and mentor rolled into one.." --Caroline Ghosn, CEO, The Levo League
" From 'trust your inner GPS' to 'presume goodwill,' these slogans are simple, memorable and remarkably effective. Changing a habit requires going beyond intention to embrace tactics that enable you to consciously achieve your goals. This book will help you do just that, providing actionable strategies that you can quickly incorporate into your daily routine."--Fran Hauser, Partner at Rothenberg Ventures and former President of Digital Time Inc.
About the Author
M. J. RYAN is a leading expert on change and human fulfillment and senior coach to executives, entrepreneurs, and small business owners around the world. Her clients include Royal Dutch Shell, Microsoft, Time Warner, the U.S. military, and Aon Hewitt. She’s a partner with the Levo League career network and lead coach at SheEO, an organization offering new funding and support models for female entrepreneurs. She’s the founder of Conari Press, creator of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series, and author of many books including This Year I Will...
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Pithy Sayings, Major Changes
By David Lermy
I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't have some desire to do or be better at something. When it comes to betterment, habits come into play. Whether you are shooting basket after basket or chip shot after chipshot or writing, writing, editing, and writing some more, doing something over and over till it becomes habitual is the most effective way to sustainable change. Some scientists say it takes 21 days while others prove it takes over 50 days, but both agree it takes a lengthy time commitment. Here is where M. J. Ryan's Habit Changers becomes advantageous.
Her book is divided into sections with an alphabetic order from A to W, with topics from Acceptance, Change, Happiness, Perfectionism, Risk Taking, and Worry. (You can tell what captures my attention easily.) Within the A through W divisions, are easy to remember or memorize matras. I will list a few that have already helped me on my quest to grow into the Me I Want to Be!
Acceptance - "This Person is My Teacher"
I needed this in my life because I often come across others who think they can do it better, think charity work is wrong, or cannot believe I would waste my time preaching and teaching the Bible. We will have enemies. We will have others who disagree. We will have confrontations. The key to remember from this idea is that we can learn from anyone. It's about us and our response, not the other person who we cannot control.
Change - "Build a Bridge to the Future on the Pillars of the Past"
Ryan explains that often when we are ready fro change we feel as if we are standing on one side of the Grand Canyon trying to figure out how to get to the other side. This is when you need to realize that to get to your desired future you build on your learned past strengths one pillar at a time. for me, what I learned working for Staples for years, honing my skills at customer service, actually propelled me ahead of the rest when I went into full time ministry designing welcome points and processes for churches making them more guest friendly. At first, I wondered how my years at Staples would help me be a man of the cloth, so to speak, and yet it was the defining feature that set me above the rest in an area that now is common in churches, although a decade ago, was not.
Happiness - "Change it, Leave it, or Accept it"
When I get fixated on a change I want to make in my life or leadership, I tend to fuss about it till others around me are quietly thinking, "Get on with it then!" Okay, maybe not so quietly. But we all find ourselves there from time to time. To truly be happy, we need to examine our life and decide when we want to change something, when its time to move on, and when we simply need to accept - it is what it is. As she writes in the book, "Acceptance is an act of surrender, the opposite of effort." When you have truly placed positive effort towards something for a certain length of time with little to no results, acceptance may be the key to your eventual happiness.
Perfectionism - "Feed Forward, Not Back"
Building off the coined term "feed forward" from executive leadership coach and author Marshall Goldsmith, dealing with feedback only is dealing with the past. If it was a past failure, you are reliving it only to fail again, if only in the mind. It's a no win. But "feed forward" is when you take a failure, realize you are not perfect, and create a path of success built on past failure. We cannot correct the past but we can course correct for the future!
Worry - "Outsource Your Worry"
This has nothing to do with finding someone else to worry for you. That doesn't help anyone. The concept has to do with taking the things that worry you and finding someone who potentially excels at them or at least can help you move through them and therefore avoid the internal struggle of worry. Ryan explains when we worry we can get stuck in a cycle. When you feel worry, or the spinning coming on, Outsourcing Your Worry, reminds you to reach out and get help. For me, it was about knowing when to take something to the team and not play it so close to the chest. Can it make you look weak? Possibly. Does worry make you look strong? Absolutely not! You never know, you team or friend or whoever you reach out to may have a new found respect for your authenticity.
I give this book 5-stars because I feel like the author, an internationally recognized female leader and executive coach, has zoned in on and simplified a book of resonating truths for anyone to grasp. It's like having a personal coach to tote around in your backpack or set next to your desk. Further, instead of being a one-time read, it's a leadership reference to go back to on a weekly basis.
I highly recommend this to those in leadership positions of any kind. If I was to focus on a few types, I would say women in leadership, human resources and development, consultants, and life coaches. I believe the world needs more solid, thriving women leaders and M.J. Ryan will inspire ladies to see if she can do it, so can you! Those in development roles are always looking for books full of pithy teaching principles and this book does not disappoint. Even if you used one phrase at a time for a meeting or staff training, you can literally go for a almost two years! Finally, Consultants and coaches are those who are leading other leaders, and these types need to stay ahead of the leadership curve and be ready with solid advice. Again, Habit Changers doesn't disappoint, especially as it accesses dozens of other leadership resources and already drills them down into bite-sized principles for the busy leader.
Whether you need a morning jolt of leadership with your morning caffeination or find yourself up against a wall and needing some inspiration, Habit Changers is a book that will keep on giving the gift of leadership for years to come!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
... can this book help you kick some of your bad habits, but it's fun to read
By Lyn G.
Not only can this book help you kick some of your bad habits, but it's fun to read! Each "habit changer" gets a two page entry; one page is simply the phrase that Ryan suggests you use to remind yourself of what you want to do, and the other is an introduction to the phrase. A lot of these introductory pages included a brief story of someone who benefitted from the phrase, or how the author came up with it, or even how she interprets it.
I honestly enjoyed every page of this book, and the fact that it can be helpful is a bonus. Now, I just need to decide what to do with my copy. It wouldn't hurt me to keep it myself, but I can think of quite a few people who could also use it - as you probably can, too.
Note: I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Each mantra is short and sweet and easy to remember
By Amanda Talbert
This review is for the book "Habit Changers" by M.J. Ryan. This book is filled with 81 game-changing mantras to mindfully realize your goal. Each mantra is short and sweet and easy to remember, such as "Presume goodwill" or "Mind the gap". After the mantra is given, a short essay is written to help you understand the mantra and explain how to put it into play in your life. There are a lot of real-life examples to help you also. This book is awesome for business owners, entrepreneurs, and people at high levels in their companies. I had several really good takeaways from reading this book that I plan on putting into practice!
Thank you to Waterbrook Multonah for a copy of the book.
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